


Laugh Lines and Crow's Feet

by GottaGoBuyCheese



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: (sorry mom), Cooking, Dancing, Digital Art, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Fanart, Ineffable Wives | Female Aziraphale/Female Crowley (Good Omens), Other, Rated G for Gratuitous Fluff and Warm Fuzzies, Retirement, Slice of Life, South Downs Cottage (Good Omens), also shoutout to anyone who's ever done a fem cover of Shut Up and Dance, and is filed under: reasons my mother says I should never go into primary care, for wrangling this description into something actually digestible and coherent, shoutout to my favorite Bookclub, the director's cut of the description is in the second chapter, the heroes we need tbh, the word count comes entirely from the description, this really is visual art I promise, without changing the pronouns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:54:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27308056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GottaGoBuyCheese/pseuds/GottaGoBuyCheese
Summary: A snapshot into Crowley and Aziraphale's retired life* in the South Downs, and all that that entails. Drawn for the Ineffable Wives Exchange 2020.(*Their retired life bears a striking resemblance to their un-retired life, only with less light pollution and more cohabitation.)
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19
Collections: Ineffable Wives Exchange 2020





	1. Artwork

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PhantomSage](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhantomSage/gifts).



> I went with the "fluff" prompt for this since I didn't feel confident in my ability not to make animals look like an eldritch abomination's thrice removed cousin skdjhfsk
> 
> Anyways, hope you enjoy, and Happy Halloween/End of October!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~shhhh I know I'm breaking my own word by posting this before the otgw thing but it is IN THE WORKS I promise~~
> 
> Definitely spent way too much time deciding what should go in the shelves, haha. I'd love to know what your favorite parts were :D
> 
> Anyways, hope I could inject a bit of brightness into your day, fellow internet stranger, and sending you all the good vibes I can form my corner of the world to yours!
> 
> Click on ahead to chapter 2 for the more detailed description! (And a few easter eggs that you can't glean from just looking >:3)


	2. Image Description: Director's Cut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically the image but with the addition of a much longer and ramblier (and hopefully wittier!) version of the alt text for screen readers, with a few more details that may not be obvious from just looking at the picture.

A digital drawing of a middle-aged female-presenting Crowley and Aziraphale with their eyes closed in mirth as they dance and laugh in the center of their kitchen. Aziraphale has short, tightly curled white-blonde hair reminiscent of a style from the West in the 1920’s and is wearing a pale green dress patterned with small white-and-pink apple blossoms. She also wears a pair of dark-framed glasses, which are strung around her neck with a line of rainbow-colored yarn, and a pair of tartan slippers on her feet. A lifetime’s worth of laugh lines and crow’s feet are etched across her face as she smiles down at Crowley, whom she dips in her sturdy arms, supporting Crowley’s back with her left arm while lifting Crowley’s left leg with her right arm.

Crowley likewise grins up at her, with her head thrown back in laughter and her eyes crinkling shut. Her right arm is slung lovingly around Aziraphale’s neck, and her left is thrown outward in a carefree expression of delight and bad kitchen dancing. She wears a pair of dark sweatpants, which presumably have respectably large pockets, and a maroon v-neck with the sleeves rolled up to her pointy elbows. In contrast to Aziraphale’s soft and well-built frame, Crowley is noticeably knobblier, with bony ankles, knuckles, and collar bones. Her red hair is also cut short in a more traditionally masculine style, but the front sticks up in tufts as if someone recently ruffled it. Can’t imagine who that might have been.

Around them is their kitchen, which is well furnished and clearly lived in. The numerous cabinets are a warm honey-brown color, and the three on the wall to the right side of the drawing above the sink have glass doors, enabling one to see the contents within. The first of three, farthest away from the viewer, contains plates, bowls, and glasses, each on a separate shelf, and the second, closer to the front, contains more glasses on the top shelf, teacups on the middle shelf, and a variety of baking ingredients on the bottom shelf. Notably visible among these ingredients are an angel cake mix, a devil’s food cake mix, an orange box of baking soda, and a pink sack of granulated sugar, and a large sack of all-purpose flour. Presumably all-purpose, anyway.

The third cabinet, nearest to the viewer and disappearing off the right edge of the drawing, contains a variety of teas and a jar of instant coffee powder on its top shelf. The middle shelf holds a large squarish container of red lentils and a large round container of jasmine rice (which is definitely not basmati because these two have an actually good taste in rice. Unless they plan on making biryani, in which case they can simply go to the store and buy a small, not child-sized sack of the clearly inferior rice). On the bottom shelf is a variety of bottles and jars containing various spices and seasonings, including cooking oil, hot sauce, reduced salt soy sauce, Italian herbs, and a dark blue plastic jar that resembles a jar of original flavor Horlicks. However, as the artist was unsure of the rules of copyright infringement, this may well be a coincidence.

The border of the wall above the cabinets is a light red decorated with juicy-looking red apples. If this apple-patterned wall in combination with Aziraphale’s dress brings to mind any kind of biblical metaphor, you, dear viewer, are far smarter than the artist. The rest of the walls visible beneath the cabinets are a pale green, a few shades lighter than Azirphale’s dress. The countertops are made of a light granite with white and black spots visible across its surface, like an inverted galaxy, and the sink is a warm metallic silver. A red dishrag with faint blue and yellow stripes is thrown across the edge of this sink, the corners hanging just above the dishwasher, which disappears off frame at the right edge of the drawing.

On the other side of the sink, towards the back right corner of the kitchen counter, lie three ripe tomatoes beside a wooden cutting board, upon which rest half an onion, a kitchen knife, and several cloves of garlic. The other half of the onion has been finely chopped, but whoever was on vegetable-chopping duty evidently abandoned her task partway through, presumably for something more fun, like dancing with her life partner.

Next to the cutting board, along the back wall, stand a bottle of olive oil, a tiny bottle of some unspecified spice, and a wooden salt-and-pepper grinder. They are lined up against the back wall in a manner reminiscent to suspects in a detention center waiting to be identified by the victim’s distraught step-sister, who oddly resembles the tiny glass jar of chili powder positioned in front of them. Is this the product of a child’s imagination, or sheer coincidence? Or perhaps the byproduct of the imagination of several children around the age of eleven whom are notorious harbringers of chaos in their neighborhood. One such child may even be likened to The Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Great Beast That is Called Dragon, Prince of This World, Father of Lies, Spawn of Satan, and Lord of Darkness. But this, of course, may be entirely coincidental.

Moving on to the middle back of the kitchen is an oven and stovetop, which are mostly obscured by the happily dancing couple. Partly visible is a pale cream tea towel decorated with light blue stars and broad stripes, which hangs loosely over oven handle. Next to the obscured oven, towards the left of the drawing, is a large fridge-freezer. It’s on the bluer end of the turquoise scale and looks like it may have been pulled directly from a 1950’s shopping catalogue based on the color scheme alone, but its design is much more modern. The top two doors seem to open to the left and right halves of the fridge unit, and the bottom two doors open to the left and right halves of the freezer unit. All the doors are closed and covered with miscellaneous papers, post-it notes, photographs, or take-away menus.

The right freezer door in particular has a note on it that reads: "TOP SHELF STILL BROKEN! Do not open until fixed!" The left freezer door has a stack of takeaway menus stuck to the it with a dark green magnetic clip. The left fridge door above it has a water dispenser unit with six touchscreen buttons, allowing the user to choose between water, crushed ice, and cubed ice as well as turning on the back light, locking the touchscreen buttons, and some other vague and nonspecific sixth option for which the artist may or may not have included simply to fill the 2-by-3 button pattern. Above the water dispenser is a child’s essay, which is stuck to the door by a small red circular magnet. In the upper right margin of the essay is a comment scribbled in red ink which reads: "Great work Warlock! 100/100."

Next to this, the right fridge door is covered in photographs and sticky notes. There are six photographs, the first of which is a portrait of a long-haired Crowley with sunglasses who bears a striking resemblance to renowned actor who may or may not be named Michelle Gomez. Beside this photo is a picture of Crowley and Aziraphale at their wedding shoot (or presumably their wedding shoot, considering the wedding rings). The backdrop of the photo looks suspiciously like Wicklow Mountains National Park, which may or may not be open to such services. They are both dressed in stylish suits; Crowley’s is black with a red dress shirt and Aziraphale’s is white with a blue dress shirt, and in this picture, Crowley is the one dipping Aziraphale for a kiss. Beneath these two photographs are two more photos. One is a picture of a short-haired Aziraphale smooching a short-haired Crowley on the forehead, and next to this is a picture of the Them crowded together and waving their flag high above them. From left to right: Brian, with pale freckled skin, sandy brown hair, and a red shirt; Adam, who (due to the artist’s inability to correctly read a character’s repeated description in book) has dark brown hair, sun-tanned skin and a navy shirt, and is clutching the flag in his right fist while grinning at the camera; Pepper, with dark skin, curly blonde hair, and a purple sweater; and Wensleydale, with pale skin, ginger hair, wire-rimmed glasses, and a checkered dress shirt that looks like it came right out of an accountant's closet, neatly pressed.

Beneath this photo is a picture of Warlock Dowling playing with his pet snake at his desk, with the Dowling’s gardener gazing at them fondly through the window at the back. The happy red-and-black snake brings to mind a certain nanny, but this drawing has been full of coincidences so far, so what’s one more? Next to this photograph is a picture of Crowley and Aziraphale in the snow dressed in winter garb. Aziraphale seems to be clutching a snowball towards her chest as Crowley strains to peer around her shoulder. This will evidently not end well for the Crowley in the photograph, who has done a remarkable job of keeping herself relatively snow-free. 

Beneath these six photographs is a collection of sticky notes of all different colors. The yellow ones have a very elegant cursive handwriting, while the red ones are more in line with chicken scratch. At the bottom of a chain of alternating yellow and red sticky notes — each of which is punctuated with a heart with a halo and angels wings if yellow, or a heart with demon horns and a tail if red — is a blue sticky note. The message on this reads: "You guys are so GROSS" with the word "gross" double underlined. Next to this is a green sticky note, with the following message written in very careful cursive: "Pepper, that’s rude. Sincerely, Wensleydale." The floor of the kitchen is a simple checkered tile floor, with alternating tiles of light golden-yellow and white. As the kitchen ends toward the left side of the drawing, the tile floor turns into a dark hardwood floor, and the green kitchen wall transitions into an off-white hallway wall. 


End file.
